


Research Entry #1: First Interview

by AvidReader3019



Series: Pinescone Necromancy AU [2]
Category: Gravity Falls, Over the Garden Wall (Cartoon & Comics)
Genre: Bad Puns, Dipper Pines Being An Idiot, Near Death Experiences, Necromancy, Research
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-08
Updated: 2020-11-08
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:09:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27454024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AvidReader3019/pseuds/AvidReader3019
Summary: Dipper this is *not* how you write a research paper you lovesick dork.
Relationships: Dipper Pines/Wirt (Over the Garden Wall)
Series: Pinescone Necromancy AU [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1979681
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11
Collections: Over The Gravity Falls





	Research Entry #1: First Interview

**Author's Note:**

> I thought it would be fun to have a research paper from Dipper's point of view for the first sorta meeting. I've always thought in-universe documents were fun and like hey I have 2 years of excruciating science labs filled with lab reports so might as well put that skill to use.  
> Also so I can't transfer things like page numbers and the typical apa format to ao3 I don't think? but it was there I did my best adapting it.

Death as an Individual

Dipper Pines

Expert in Necromancy

## Abstract

The purpose of this study is to accurately determine whether or not death and/or similar concepts are individuals with responsibilities or simply concepts that humanity tends to personify. The most difficult aspect of this type of study is finding the entity to persuade them to speak with you about their state of being, as well as first determining whether they exist at all. Luckily, there is evidence world-wide to suggest the presence of these creatures from credible sources dating back thousands of years that establish themselves as the starting point for any further research. It can then be concluded that these creatures exist and the next step is to find one.

Death has always been examined as a conceptual state of being. It is typically defined, even in our magically progressive society as “the end of the life of a person or organism,” but is that really the case? In this study I show several examples of why this is not based in any sort of fact and is instead a more superstitious view than the truth of a person who embodies this concept. Furthermore, the individual I will be discussing deserves the utmost respect and consideration. They perform their tasks with an attention to detail and dedication never before seen in any other being or profession, and once again, this is a job _,_ a position. I am not discussing a creature that is the concept itself, rather, someone who causes a state and transition that we refer to as both their title and the state of being they impose.

## Method

The experiment was conducted with the utmost attention to detail, and little regard for ethics. It was a self-imposed experiment, and so did not require the involvement of an ethics committee, who would have surely turned it down. However, do not take this as a sign of illegitimate findings which stand on their own as accurate, regardless of the harm it imposed upon the experimental subject. In order to obtain answers for the inquiries, a human had to be subjected to a death-like state which then would summon the creature in question. The cultural research on what would summon the creature was detailed in my last entry, but I will give a summary here: From Charon in Ancient Greece, to Anubis in Egypt, to the Aztec’s Xolotl, to the Norse Valkyries and many others besides, death has been personified in most cultures. Today he is often referred to as the “Grim Reaper,” a far less creative and interesting title. He is what we call a “psychopomp,” a being that transports souls to the “otherworld” where the dead reside after it is their time to pass from our plane of existence. With this in mind, the experiment was based on the knowledge that this being would likely _have_ to exist considering the staggering amount of literature mentioning them, and that they are required to show up when there is a soul to be taken from one realm to the next. If one were to be alive while tricking the creature into thinking they needed to be ferried, they may be able to persuade for an interview before the creature gets angry enough to either kill them regardless or storm off.

## Participants

The only people involved in the study were the lead researcher and the creature. (Pronouns were inquired about as part of the standard introductory questions and his response was adorably flustered at the question calling it ‘considerate’ in that antiquated way he has, and point being he answered he/him, so the duration of this analysis will be referring to him as such, just wanted to make that clear.) This was conducted as a standard interview between two individuals, I will detail the questions momentarily, and only required an extra assistant for if anything were to go wrong without the lead researcher’s knowledge that caused them to potentially suffer massive amounts of bodily harm. Although only two people have been credited with involvement in the experiment, Mabel Pines is to be recognized briefly with the responsibility of observing to make sure the lead researcher was not harmed in any way during their attempts to contact this being. Unfortunately, she was without the knowledge that death (the state not the person) was a potential outcome of the procedure, so her performance was inhibited slightly, specifically, she did not intervene until long after the experiment took place and would not have been able to do anything should there have been unforeseen complications, so she is not credited throughout much of this document. Her angry yelling for days afterwards is another matter.

## Materials

The experiment required basic materials. Pencil and paper for recording both questions and responses; he seemed uncomfortable when the computer was brought in, but less an unfamiliarity and more too much familiarity, he seems to use one often for work. There was also a soft surface to lie the temporarily dead researcher on, so as to prevent and wounds from falling onto the floor once succumbing to unconsciousness, but it was left unused because the potion worked much quicker than expected. The other materials included apparently cookies, but these were not prepared beforehand and just added in once they became necessary. The main requirement being a potion that allowed the researcher to go into a death-like comatose state for just long enough to astral project and come back. The lapse in the location of the spirit energy called upon the creature and allowed the researcher to awaken relatively quickly.

## Procedure

Step one was to acquire the potion which was done relatively easily over the internet. It was tested and examined with the utmost precision because the lead researcher, contrary to popular belief, does not have a death wish. Well, wait he does but (Side note: with this knowledge of death as a person we may want to consider new idioms and sayings because they become quite uncomfortable with this knowledge.) The subsequent step was to set up the interview room. The experimental procedure required setting up an environment to conduct the interview for when the creature arrived, one designed to be inviting and welcoming to him so he would be more inclined to stay. The room was also designed with safety in mind to specifically contain the creature with binding symbols, various wards and enchantments. The hospitable aspect came unexpectedly in the form of cold stone walls that the creature compared to his own demeanor, completely ignoring that he is more like the soft vanilla scented candlelight and smooth jazz than the stone. He’s the kindest creature the otherworld seems to have and one minute with him was worth the years of hassle put into the research and potions for the experiment. Moving on, the next step of the procedure was to set up the surface for the researcher to be reclined upon while taking the potion and being unconscious. It was a simple blanket on the ground, nothing too interesting for fear of affecting the likelihood of the creature showing up if it seemed too suspicious. After taking the potion, there was the simple matter of convincing the creature to stay which was far less difficult than one may expect. He seemed inclined to speak with anyone willing to listen, an indication of a perhaps lonely existence and was more than willing to speak openly and honestly, which is more than you can say for most people. The idea was to forgo the deeper questions for the time being and conduct a more ice-breaker-esque interview. This interview would then be able to lead to ones in the future, so the initial questionnaire was thrown out in favor of a steady, long-term gain approach. This will detail the interview actually conducted rather than the one planned.

## Assessments and Measures

Anatomic assessment: Subject 13, although, I’d rather refer to him by name than by subject number but his anonymity and this being a scholarly report and all... a compromise perhaps?, Death is about six feet, seven inches vertically speaking, which is _much_ taller than the lead researcher who required a chair to measure. Said researcher also fell off the chair, so yet another injury should technically be noted as part of the procedure. His eyes are not typically human colored at all times, they shift into a vibrant kaleidoscope when he gets excited or nervous about a topic. He has an average heart bpm of well, _none_ , a blood pressure of also none. More to the point, he doesn't seem to have blood. Which is a very interesting development considering he can definitely blush, he says he can’t as well which is rather intriguing. It makes sense on one hand that he wouldn’t be able to see it, but he was very adamant about not being able to and treated it more as a signal of his character than a biological anomaly. More tests need to be conducted on how and why that’s possible as well as questions about why he seems to think he’s not capable of any sort of warmth. The phase of convincing him of this is the next project being prioritized considering it will likely affect how easy it is to gain answers to further questions. Speaking of which, he _is_ cold to the touch, not like a corpse, but more like ice. This suggests a magical influence, possibly an aura? One that affects his temperature which was measured to be minus 273 degrees Celsius. There is no calculation for his weight because the scale remained at zero, so either the research team requires more money for more stable equipment or he’s weightless, still unclear. He didn’t seem to be aware of that either, only stating that he hadn’t ever used such a machine, it being insignificant to his work and all. Note once again that he seems to be very dedicated.

The research suggests that he has an Analogous structure to humans when in his more humanoid form and not the shadow being that first entered. Biologically speaking, the creature and humans seem to be very similar in most ways, including the same limbs -- although his legs seem unnaturally long-- a human facial structure with a strong jawline and striking eyes that just draw a person in (without the colors in this form and it doesn’t seem to be a magic effect...), and everything else one would consider “human”. 

This being said, his _original_ form upon entering this plane seems to be something more akin to living shadow. He was impossible to discern from the darker portions of the room if not for the fact that his form seemed to draw those shadows into the larger and his eyes. The eyes are always the multicolored ones in this form and it’s almost like they draw in color from around the environment with the help of the shadows. Everything became more pastel, but it could have just been the contrast of light, not necessarily what it seemed. The shadows themselves writhed and twisted around him creating quite the display, but none of this was seen after he became more or less human. The shadow seemed to represent his silhouette, but there’s no way to know for sure without further inquiry. In further testing there should also be something to discover how exactly the manipulation of light works. The darkness seems to enshroud him, but it’s unclear whether he’s producing it or drawing it in from the environment.

## Outcome 1

This experiment proves that death exists as a person who can be talked to. His answers to the questionnaire were well thought out and reasoned. When asked for his opinions on literature he mentioned an inclination to poetry, and said he was focusing on Emily Dickenson at the moment, having not had the chance until now to really take his time reading her work with “the care and attention that it deserves.” He also seems to take great pleasure in collecting little knick knacks and remnants of a bygone era. He has little artistic boxes from centuries ago combined with speakers from nowadays, truly fascinating. All of that history and culture he’s seen up close and he still finds things to love from today. How he’s kept sane for this long is also a potential future project, there’s so much to learn and ask about that it’s staggering. The research team will likely be occupied for decades or more with any luck. How does one keep all that knowledge, even just from one day traveling the world like that, without losing their mind? It would take a very special creature to be able to do such a thing this flawlessly.

## Outcome 2

The other main takeaway is that death seems to be performing a job, one he does with great skill and admirable dedication. It’s not as sinister as it may appear. He has shifts and hours and off-time. He spends his days guiding souls from one side to the other, and his nights reading and writing as much as he can. His eyes lit up (uh literally they’re a swirling vortex of colors at times) at being asked to see some of his work although he still politely declined. Watching death itself blush and turn down a request to read their work is life changing, really. Any sort of fear for the end has been thoroughly done away with at this point for the lead researcher if it means I get to see _him_ at the end of everything. I only hope there’s enough time to have a conversation or two before the true end, maybe to read something together and simply sit enjoying one another's company.

## Results

The commonly known figure of “death” seems to be less of an unknowable concept and more of just a guy. He likes tea, music, poetry, collectibles, bad horror movies, and other very human seeming things. He even sat in a chair for several hours just to speak about trivial matters, smiling more and more as it went on. He seemed excited to get asked about his side of things for once, but it was a quiet excitement, resigned like someone expecting to have this taken away from them any moment. Add emotional damage to the list of injuries experienced as part of this analysis, but it only increases the determination of the research team to do this more and more often for answers and understanding which is the point and purpose of this entire project. He is a lot more friendly and less otherworldly than anyone would have expected. Death’s smile is less of a chilling grin awaiting your imminent demise, and more of a shy cute smile that promises comfort and warmth as you reach the end. A “I’m so proud of you, you can finally rest” Again, odd and unexpected considering his core temperature of absolute zero on the Kelvin scale. One may have expected a far more threatening or at least apathetic nature. One might even consider apathy more humane in his line of work, but you have to admit that comfort is really the one thing any of us want in a stressful time and he oozes comfort as much as he tries to deny it. This should be the first of many studies to come and was quite the wonderful and unforgettable introduction.

References

Reaper, G. (2023, Aug. 19). Personal communication [In-Person Interview].

TheFerryman, C. (2023, Aug. 19). Personal communication [In-Person Interview].

Sandman, T.(2023, Aug. 19). Personal communication [In-Person Interview].

Anubis, C.(2023, Aug. 19). Personal communication [In-Person Interview].

Xolotl, C.(2023, Aug. 19). Personal communication [In-Person Interview].

Skögul, V.(2023, Aug. 19). Personal communication [In-Person Interview].

Azrial, C. (2023, Aug. 19). Personal communication [In-Person Interview].

Thanatos, T. (2023, Aug. 19). Personal communication [In-Person Interview].

Shinigami, L. (2023, Aug. 19). Personal communication [In-Person Interview].

La Muerte, S. (2023, Aug. 19). Personal communication [In-Person Interview].

Śmierć, T. (2023, Aug. 19). Personal communication [In-Person Interview].

Yama, K. (2023, Aug. 19). Personal communication [In-Person Interview].


End file.
